I call it an art because this monosyllabic word can cause catastrophes, break-ups, heartbreaks,wars etc. On the positive side , it can save you from embarrassment, from a situation you are dreading and all the things above. I have been in situations when I was literally tongue tied and could not bring myself to say no, fearing how I would come across to the people.
A friend asks ‘Do I look fat’ – if its a girl posing the question never say yes. That is like a golden rule.
Some people feel obliged to do things even though they do not want to because they do not want to hurt the feelings of the other person or want to earn some brownie points. Saying no is neither being nice nor being nasty.It all depends on how you say it and all the explanation after that – provided the person gives you that chance !! Saying no in a strange was is a proof of you being assertive. Paradoxical but true. At least it shows that you are honest and not caving into pressure.
It does seem to be part of human nature to blame others when things go wrong in our lives, or when we’re feeling hard done by. If you take away the ‘if only’ excuse you also take away the need to blame and make the other person wrong. It’s also rather wonderful to think that rather than waiting for someone else to change to make things all right, we all have the ability to take charge of most situations and make them all right for ourselves.
What also makes it easier is that we all just have to get better at ‘the art of saying no’; none of us has to change our whole personalities to create a more satisfying outcome!
Remember – there is a new ‘N word’ !!!!