The art of saying ‘NO’

I call it an art because this monosyllabic word can cause catastrophes, break-ups, heartbreaks,wars etc. On the positive side , it can save you from embarrassment, from a situation you are dreading and all the things above. I have been in situations when I was literally tongue tied and could not bring myself to say no, fearing how I would come across to the people.

A friend asks ‘Do I look fat’ – if its a girl posing the question never say yes. That is like a golden rule.

Some people feel obliged to do things even though they do not want to because they do not want to hurt the feelings of the other person or want to earn some brownie points. Saying no is neither being nice nor being nasty.It all depends on how you say it and all the explanation after that – provided the person gives you that chance !! Saying no in a strange was is a proof of you being assertive. Paradoxical but true. At least it shows that you are honest and not caving into pressure.

It does seem to be part of human nature to blame others when things go wrong in our lives, or when we’re feeling hard done by. If you take away the ‘if only’ excuse you also take away the need to blame and make the other person wrong. It’s also rather wonderful to think that rather than waiting for someone else to change to make things all right, we all have the ability to take charge of most situations and make them all right for ourselves.

What also makes it easier is that we all just have to get better at ‘the art of saying no’; none of us has to change our whole personalities to create a more satisfying outcome!

Remember – there is a new ‘N word’ !!!!

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16 Responses to The art of saying ‘NO’

  1. nice post … I agree with you , the last line is worth mentioning [:)]!!. “none of us has to change our whole personalities to create a more satisfying outcome!” , no need to change whole personalities but should behave right , thats all !!. keep blogging

  2. easy to advocate, difficult if not impossible to use. does that make sense ?

  3. pankajsaini says:

    I would never want to learn what you’ve preached. It may be good to learn that to survive professionally or I don’t know when or where. But all these are constructs of the society we live in. We are expected to behave in certain manners. If left alone, I would love to say yes to everything, if left alone. Why do I try to learn all this. Every time we are in a society, we are supposed to learn this or that… who made… I try to make my life as simple as possible without learning anything… just take it as it comes…. and seriously I don’t think one has to learn to say no. It is as simple as saying yes if you are nothing but yourself πŸ™‚

  4. rohitbharadwajg says:

    yeah…i totally agree with what you have said but living in a community, we have to adjust for somethings and some work which we don’t like as everything is not designed according to our wish and personality but it is always better to say “no” rather than feeling embarrassed. According to me, there is nothing called art of saying no, all it means to me is developing courage to lead ur life as u like or as u wish.

    anywazz nice and interesting post…

  5. Prateek G V says:

    ‘No’ comments πŸ˜›
    Keep Blogging!

  6. Karan says:

    When I read the title, I was like, cool. But the post defied expectations. I thought that you would write on being straightforward and asking people to refuse things which they aren’t comfy with. Nevertheless, what you’ve written makes for interesting read and food for thought. Not sure if I agree with it though!
    Great topic to write on πŸ™‚

  7. Ninja says:

    Will you marry me?

    Now, I need an innovative N word as the answer.

    ROFL

  8. Maruti Borker says:

    @Ninja watch Wedding Daze ..

    @Prateek lol dude !

    @Post :- It’s really hard to use that ‘N’ word in front of strangers or not-so-close friends … but when it comes to close buddies i dont think we need to hide anything πŸ™‚ . This policy is working like charm to me πŸ˜€ .

  9. Maruti Borker says:

    @Ninja watch Wedding Daze ..

    @Prateek lol dude !

    @Post :- It’s really hard to use that ‘N’ word in front of strangers or not-so-close friends … but when it comes to close buddies i dont think we need to hide anything πŸ™‚ . This policy is working like charm for
    me πŸ˜€ .

  10. Maruti Borker says:

    The above duplication was because of the suckin condition of IIIT WLAN πŸ˜€

  11. Ankit says:

    thrs another .. good N-word …

    “Nahiiiiiiiiiiii…..” πŸ˜€

  12. Trisha says:

    Good one! Keep the posts coming!!

  13. Good Post!
    Saying NO is difficult in lack of understanding of Relationships. With Relationships there are no fears, pressures and that feeling liberates us to express our feelings.
    The basis of Relationships is Trust.

  14. bhargava says:

    even i’ve been in many situations (quite a few while working for Felicity) where i couldn’t say no for the same reasons.

    your post reminded me – i planned to write a post with the same title – as a part of the “Things i should have known/mastered before starting the work for Felicity” series. will write it soon.

    didn’t quite understand the 2nd last para, but anyways a great post, as always.

    oh ya! you should’ve written the golden rule a couple of weeks early – would have prevented me from being an idiot. would appreciate it if you could write more golden rules πŸ™‚

  15. Anupama says:

    “N”ice read “N”ammu !

    “A friend asks β€˜Do I look fat’ – if its a girl posing the question never say yes. That is like a golden rule.”

    I love this sentence like hell πŸ˜€

  16. prashasti says:

    I agree …Its better to say NO…..then to hurt others or urself…

    Keep on posting golden rules…we will need when we leave the insti..

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